Parenting after cancer

After finishing treatment there can often be an expectation that things will return to “normal” immediately. Often family and friends are very happy and positive that the cancer is over, however this period isn’t always easy for people.

It takes time for your body and mind to recover and adjust from treatment. You may still be living with the side effects from treatment, changes to your body, or the emotional impact of what you have been through.

It is normal for parents to still worry about their children, the impact of the cancer, and now the pressure of having to “return to normal”.

During this time the information and tips on the Parenting With Cancer page may still be helpful. In addition, it can be helpful to:

• Have clear communication with your family about what you can/cannot do and what support you need
• Set expectations with your children about what they can expect
• Continue to communicate with your children in an open and honest manner about your cancer and recovery
• Give yourself time to heal and adjust
• Remember that this may be a new “normal” for you. It is common for roles to change during cancer, and you may need to navigate how parenting looks now and moving forward

 Resources

Fruitfly Collective  – information and resources about parenting and how to support your children

Resources to help you and your children when you have cancer | Coping with cancer – this includes a list of various books for children of different ages

Further support

It is natural to feel a range of emotions after treatment finishes, and to continue to worry about or struggle with parenting. If you are struggling and the tips on this page do not help then please do reach out for help.

Peer support:

Peer support can often be helpful, especially when people feel alone in their experience. There are a range of support groups available, for more information please see the Support Groups page.

Psychological therapy:

Psychological therapy can be useful and usually involves meeting with someone one to one or in a group. Therapists may use a variety of techniques to support you including (but not limited to) ideas from cognitive behavioural therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy and compassion focused therapy.

You can ask your cancer team for a referral to the Macmillan Cancer Psychological Support Team (CaPS) at St George’s Hospital if you are a patient under their care and have had treatment within the past 2 years. Alternatively, you can speak to your GP about psychological therapy available, including your local Talking Therapies service. Although the CaPS team cannot see your children, they would be able to think with you about how you communicate and support them during this time.

You can find information about the CaPS team here

You can find your local talking therapies service here

Support from cancer charities:

Maggie’s Centres offer a range of psychological support including support groups, drop-in services, workshops and courses, and one to one psychological therapy:

Macmillan offer a free support line on 0808 808 00 00, or you can email them for support: Emotional, financial and physical help for people with cancer | Macmillan Cancer Support

Community Mental Health Teams:

If you are already receiving support for your mental health, tell your team or therapist about how you are struggling now that cancer treatment has finished. For more information on this you can go to Community Mental Health webpage

GP

You can speak to your GP about your emotional wellbeing or difficulties with parenting after treatment. They may be able to support you in thinking about onward referrals or medication.