Teenagers and young adults (TYA)

During and after cancer treatment, these experiences may feel more challenging, especially when trying to catch up, manage expectations or reconnect with friends and socialise. It is completely understandable if this feels overwhelming at times and you’re not alone in finding that life during and beyond treatment can take time to adjust to.

Below is some advice on how to manage your expectations and to try and make living with and beyond cancer as positive and supportive as possible.

School, university or apprenticeship

If you are a full-time student your medical team might suggest you take time off school, college, apprenticeships or university to help your recovery.

This can sound like a great idea but can quickly feel quite weird.

It is always beneficial letting people know. Your school, college, apprenticeship provider or university can only provide support if they know what’s going on. So, while it is up to you who you tell, it’s usually a good idea to let your tutors know about your diagnosis as soon as possible. You can always make it clear you don’t want them to tell any other students or particular staff members.

Schools can help you keep up. Colleges often have support services and can get funding to help you. Universities can make adjustments or postpone your studies. You may also be able to get help via GOV.UK for financial support.

First day back- once you are feeling well enough to return to study, chat to your doctors and nurses. They will help you work out what is possible and give you advice on what to expect. It is also a good idea to get in touch with your place of study, so you can let your teachers know how you are doing and how they can help.

Who can support me?

Your TYA CNS can offer you support talking to your place of study and providing letters of support.

Young lives vs cancer are an excellent charity, your TYA CNS will refer you to, they offer excellent support in communicating with schools, universities and apprenticeships.

Employment

Keeping up at work, returning to work after treatment or looking for a new job, can be a challenge, but there is plenty you can do to make things easier.

During treatment, legally you don’t have to tell your employer if you have been diagnosed with cancer. But if you don’t tell them, they don’t have any obligation to make reasonable adjustments to help you.

Reasonable adjustments can include things like giving you time off to go to the hospital or doctors’ appointments, giving you extra breaks and letting you return to work gradually.

Don’t rush into anything, if you have had a cancer diagnosis and are thinking about quitting your job- don’t do anything before you have fully considered your options.

Ready to return to work?

Going back to work if you have taken time off for cancer treatment can feel like a big step forward. But it is important not to rush this and not expect too much of yourself when you return. If you are going back to your old job, your employer has a duty to make changes that could help you. If you are looking at a new role, there is no reason that cancer should stop you landing that job.

Support

Your TYA CNS & Youth support worker can support you. You can find further information here; Young lives vs cancer and Macmillan cancer support

Physical activity and movement

Physical activity and regularly moving your body are good ways to look after your body and mind during and after treatment. There might be times when exercise is the last thing on your mind, so don’t push yourself.

If you are feeling a bit wiped out during your treatment, your body needs to rest and recover and it is important to give the time to do that.

On the days you do feel better, being active can give your body and mind a boost. Set yourself small, achievable goals and give yourself credit for what you can do rather than setting your expectations too high.

Make sure you check with your care team before getting started. You can find more information on the Physical activity page.

Support:

Trekstock charity

Move against cancer charity

Ella Dawson Foundation

Relationships

When the people close to you find out you have cancer, they’ll probably feel a lot of the things you did. They might not know how to respond and act differently.

Suddenly relationships that have been natural can feel strange and strained. But keeping friends, family and partners close is important. Being open and honest can really help.

Tips for talking:

Its totally up to you what you want to talk about and who you talk to, but these ideas might help to make conversations easier:

People might avoid talking about cancer because they are not sure if you want to, it’s a good idea to let them know its ok, or if you don’t want to talk right now.
It can help to start by explaining what you would like to talk about and if there is anything you would rather avoid.
Writing things down can help guide your conversation and if you don’t feel like talking you could write a letter for people to read in their own time.
Try not to worry too much beforehand, conversations can seem much worse in your head than they turn out to be. Often talking about stuff makes everyone feel better.

Family relationship:

Sometimes you might not want to tell your family you are feeling scared, depressed or stressed or just in need of a hug. Maybe you are nervous about making them worry even more.

If you bottle things up, you usually end up feeling lonely and on the verge of breaking down.

A lot of families find it helps to get support from someone outside of the family. Psychologists, counsellors and your care team at the hospital know a lot about the impact of cancer and can help you and your family talk honestly about how you’re feeling.

Support:

Maggie’s and the South Thames TYA team run a six-week course for parents of 16–24-year-olds who have been impacted by cancer- speak to your TYA CNS for a referral to this service.

Your CNS can also refer family to psychological support if they consent. You can also find helpful information from Teens Unite Charity here

Friends:

Your friends might be amazing during your cancer treatment, saying and doing all the right things and generally being very helpful and supportive. But cancer can put pressure on any relationship, and sometimes even the closest friendships can change.

It might help to:

Ask people to keep calling, texting and inviting you to things.
Explain you might sometimes take a while to reply.
Make sure you contact them too.
Let your friends know what they can do to help.
Let them know if you’re happy to answer questions.

Support:

You can also point your friend to my friend has cancer as this may be useful for them to read if you don’t feel like explaining everything yourself.

Partners:

If you are in a relationship while you’re going through cancer treatment, it can bring you closer together, helping you closer together, helping you realise how much you mean to each other. But it can also push you apart, as you might struggle to communicate like you used to about what you’re feeling and what’s going on.

Whatever happens remember you are both reacting to a situation and you are probably feeling a lot of the same emotions. It is never easy but sharing what you are going through and trying not to criticise or blame each other can stop you from drifting apart.

Support:

Shine Cancer Charity Partner support

Teenage Cancer Trust my partner has cancer

Young lives vs Cancer my partner has cancer

Emotional support

You might experience all kinds of emotions after being diagnosed with cancer, as well as during and after treatment.

Sometimes you might not even be sure what you are feeling or why. But the main thing to remember is that there is no right or wrong way to feel. Whatever you’re going through, it is normal. Everyone’s cancer experience is different and everyone’s cancer experience is equally valid.

Support:

Your CNS can refer you to the Macmillan Cancer Psychological Support (CaPS) Team at St Georges.

Ella Dawson Foundation feel well programme- free online counselling Feel Well

Peer support

After your cancer diagnosis, your TYA CNS will talk to you about peer support. If this is something you are interested in you will be added to a WhatsApp community where peer support evens will be advertised. You will be able to apply to these evens through your TYA CNS or your Youth Support Worker. It is important to always check with your medical team you are safe to attend.

Examples of these events include theatre trips, theme park & the most popular the ultimate backstage experience at the Royal Albert Hall which the Teenage Cancer Trust Charity organises annually.

Within the WhatsApp community there is also a book club which often is the most popular form of peer support.

Charities listed and others you might want to explore:

Teenage Cancer Trust