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Talking openly to loved ones about the everyday impacts of cancer can make it easier to be able to open the conversation to some of these more sensitive conversations.

Find a time that you feel relaxed and have the time and privacy to have the conversation.

You might find it helpful to practice saying a few sentences out loud so that you can feel more comfortable when you say them in conversation with others. Particularly if you want to discuss difficulties with sex and intimacy, don’t wait to be aroused to discuss your feelings in that moment.

Your anticipation of the conversation is likely to be worse than the conversation itself. We tend to make negative assumptions about what others are thinking, but often their response may be different to what we expect.

A couple of other tips about having a conversation include:

  • If you find it hard to start the conversation in person, you could start by sending a text or email to the person you want to speak to
  • If your partner/friend/family member finds it hard to have a conversation, you could provide them with a resource to help bring up the topic (e.g., a website link, booklet, podcast). This may help give them some time to think about what they feel comfortable speaking about
  • Take things slowly. You do not have to have a long conversation covering everything in one go. You can revisit the topic and conversation many times
  • Ask the person you are speaking with about their thoughts and worries
  • Some people find it helpful to meet with others going through something similar in peer support groups
  • At the end of the conversation think together about what would be helpful moving forward (e.g., when you will talk again, things you both want to think about individually, any changes you want to make moving forward)

For more information on how to start the conversation with a healthcare professional if you are struggling see: How and when to ask for help

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