Loneliness
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It is very common for people to feel lonely or isolated whilst living with or beyond cancer, whether you have people around you or not. This can be for many reasons, including:
- Feeling misunderstood by those around you. Even if you are close to your loved ones they may not be able to understand your experience (or it may feel like they don’t)
- Changes to your relationships. Perhaps you are seeing people less, or people are not sure what to say to you or are treating you differently
- Avoiding seeing others due to fear of upsetting them, the focus being on your cancer or having to share your feelings and thoughts
- Fatigue, tiredness or side effects of treatment (including being told you have to isolate or keep your distance from others for your health) meaning you cannot engage in your usual routines, work or hobbies
If you have a limited support network or live alone, you may also find that you are worried about living with cancer and feeling alone in this when usually you value your independence.
For some people, if they feel lonely, this can impact their mood and overall wellbeing. For more information on managing your emotional wellbeing you can look at psychological wellbeing.
If you are feeling lonely, it may be helpful to consider the following:
- Consider who you can talk to and reach out to them, share how you are feeling and ask for support or help from others if you need it
- Continue to engage with activities you enjoy as much as you can, and if there are limitations to this then think about if there are alternative options you can try (e.g., attending the football match and watching rather than playing)
- Take things slowly. If you are trying to engage or re-engage with people or activities, build up to this with small steps rather than trying to do everything at once
- Consider peer support options to meet others going through a similar experience
- If you want to meet people or attend groups without the focus being on cancer, consider accessing local community groups
Resources
Macmillan Cancer Support: Get support for cancer and loneliness | Macmillan Cancer Support
Information on if you live alone with cancer: Living alone and cancer | Maggie’s
Where to access support
It is natural to feel lonely at times, but if you would like to find more support or opportunities be with others, you may find the following helpful:
Peer support
Peer support can often be helpful, especially when people feel alone in their experience. There are a range of support groups available, you can speak to your cancer team about this for advice or look online
Peer support can also be provided one-to-one. Some cancer charities (e.g., Breast Cancer Now, Leukaemia Care) run specific buddy systems, or you may want to consider the following national services:
Marie Curie companion service: Either phone or in person support for people living with a terminal illness, or those who support them
Companion service | Marie Curie
Support from cancer charities:
Cancer charities offer a range of support and can be a place to speak to someone about you experience with cancer.
Maggie’s Centres offer a range of psychological support including support groups, drop-in services, workshops and courses, and one to one psychological therapy: Our centres | Maggie’s. You can either drop in, email or call them.
Macmillan offer a free support line on 0808 808 0000, or you can email them for support: Emotional, financial and physical help for people with cancer | Macmillan Cancer Support
Community groups
Your local community may run various groups that are not related to cancer. Joining a community group can often help reduce feelings of loneliness. Often groups such as walking groups, arts groups, book clubs and gardening groups are running locally.
Community groups and activities are often advertised online, through libraries or community centres, or if appropriate for you via organisations such as AGEUK and mental health charities (e.g., MIND).
Social prescribing via GP
Social prescribing link workers help to connect people to community-based support, including activities and services that meet practical, social, and emotional needs that affect their health and wellbeing. This can often be helpful for people who are feeling lonely or isolated.
You can speak to your GP to ask for a referral.